This morning on Facebook, a friend of mine was asking for opinions about the theory stating that if you see a No Good woman, it's safe to say she's dealing with a No Good man. It kind of got me to thinking...
Asking that is a lot like asking if the Chicken or the Egg came first..(If you're a Christian you already know the answer...the Chicken...but I digress...)...No one goes into a relationship looking to be a No Good anything. Everything is hearts and flowers and passion, there's not too much thought about what kind of person they are, because you think you already know them.
The only way to get to know someone, really, is to spend time with them and see how they interact with friends, family, co-workers and ultimately, how they treat you.
The Truth will out, meaning, what's really inside of a person is going to come out. If at bottom, a man or woman is a good man or woman, you're gonna see it. Conversely, if someone is a No Good Man or woman, you're also gonna see it. All you'll need is a little time and patience.
Most of us, sadly, don't have the patience.
If a man is truly into you and wants you, he'll show it. He will take the time to be with you and make time for you. He'll respect you and your wishes, but you have to let him know the boundaries. If you don't set them and let him know that you won't go beyond them, one, he'll never know and two, he will treat you however he wants to treat you.
That's where self-respect comes in: If you don't want to be treated any kind of way, Woman Up and say something. If he cares, he'll toe the line, if not, cancel the subscription. Most of us are too scared of being alone to be as ruthless as that, but it's the truth and would save a lot of people a lot of headaches and heartaches. (By the way, the previous also applies to guys seeking female companionship. Y'know, the whole what's good for Goose and Gander thing...)
Just think, if a lot of the people who are complaining about their significant others had taken the time to get to know them and teach them how they wanted to be treated, they'd know if he or she was good for them and, if not, could step off with a clear conscience and make plenty of room for the man or woman that would be a Do Right man or woman.
So, I guess to answer the question my friend posed, if you see a No Good woman, she more than likely is dealing with a No Good man...because she chose to.
Our problem as men and women is that we think we have to have all the things we want on demand. Mr and Mrs. Right Now. And who made up this 90-day rule? Good relationships take time and patience. Instead of worrying about sexual compatibility, why aren't we trying to figure out spirituality, personalities, attitudes, and each other's emotions? We spent too much time being all we can be with people who were not even worth our time. And when we do find who were are meant to be with we discover we burned ourselves out, become jaded, and carry past hurts that really need to be resovled before we can attain happiness in the future. We live in a society that screams WE HAVE TO BE SOMEBODY. But we need to turn society off, because being alone is not such a bad thing. Done correctly, we can take time to mold, reflect, and look inside ourselves and figure ourselves out and why our relationships are going wrong. More comments to come.
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